Trump Admin’s Recommended Tiny $3 Meal for Americans Is a Big Load of Crock

Girl dinner this; savory girl that; Agriculture Secretary Brooke Rollins just fast-passed her own contribution into the viral-dinner hall of fame with the one meal she believes can overhaul the affordability crisis: a piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, a corn tortilla, and “one other thing.” (That “one other thing” being, obviously, Jezebel sauce. Just kidding.)

Rollins (who’s become somewhat obsessed with trying to starve Americans) bragged about the breakthrough finding on NewsNation on Wednesday, adding that it was the hard-earned product of “1,000 simulations” to optimize a meal just as nutritious as it is cheap. “There is a way to do this that actually will save the average American consumer money,” she said. (Another, better option might be not defunding the country’s top anti-hunger initiative, Brooke.)

According to Rollins, the $3 meal comes as proof that Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr.’s new dietary rulespart of the administration’s “Make America Healthy Again” pushwon’t require Americans who are “living in the margins” to spend more money on what they eat. When asked about how RFK Jr.’s been pushing steak—an undeniable splurge for most Americans—Rollins replied that the prices of “ground beef is coming down.” OK!

Social media users were quick to blast the depressing nosh as it—like most offerings from the Trump administration—feels like a giant slap in the face. “Trump gets a gold-plated new ballroom,” tweeted Rep. Jason Crow (D-Colo.). “You get a piece of chicken, broccoli, and one corn tortilla.” “Enjoy, peasants,” MeidasTouch wrote. “I really wish people hadn’t demonized calories because the one thing that calorie count is really, really good for is being able to say ‘Wow those are starvation rations,’” one user added on BlueSky. And I—like many—have one crucial question: what the fuck is a piece of broccoli?? A floret? An entire plant!? A stem?! This also begs the question—did their simulation show that two florets might put the average American consumer into debt?!

Let them eat *a* broccoli

[image or embed]

— Mike Masnick (@mmasnick.bsky.social) January 15, 2026 at 5:56 AM

Following the mockery of Rollins’ interview, the USDA published a list of other $3 options that the “simulation” discovered, including eggs, canned tuna, and frozen fruits and vegetables. Hm. Maybe since Trump told Americans to buy their kids fewer toys, they can at least afford a $4 dinner.

Speaking to CBS’s Tony Dokoupil last week, Trump, when asked about grocery prices, said, “No, no, overall very good. Good for us, good for our country.” Dokoupil then replied by saying many Americans he’s spoken with don’t feel that, but they do feel grocery prices are going up. Trump shot back, “Well, they might not, but they’re going to now. I’ve only been here for 11 months, OK? And you know, the first few months were really rough if you look at ‘em, because I inherited a mess.” He continued, “A year and a half ago, our country was dead.”

Affordability has become a sore spot for the Trump administration, who are staring down the barrel of a midterm year with the GOP’s teetering trifecta hanging in the balance. But they only have themselves to blame for the country’s rising costssevere tariffs, and inflation—and really, I don’t think recommending tiny $3 dinners is going to ward off the affordability crisis. Or Americans’ growing dissatisfaction with the GOP.


Like what you just read? You’ve got great taste. Subscribe to Jezebel, and for $5 a month or $50 a year, you’ll get access to a bunch of subscriber benefits, including getting to read the next article (and all the ones after that) ad-free. Plus, you’ll be supporting independent journalism—which, can you even imagine not supporting independent journalism in times like these? Yikes.

Espace publicitaire · 300×250