The upcoming Matthew McConaughey show, Brothers, promises an abundance of press—inevitable hot wing-eating shows, anecdotes on anecdotes on anecdotes about his eccentricity, more musings on AI, and how he may or may not be half-brothers with his co-star, Woody Harrelson. But I’ve decided I’m officially at capacity on McConaughey-related information. I can’t learn any more facts about him, especially after this particular straw that has broken the longhorn’s back.
On Monday night, while promoting Brothers, Jimmy Kimmel hosted McConaughey’s rumored half-brother, Harrelson, on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and shared a……. perturbing story about McConaughey at last week’s Emmys—a developing story that the Hollywood Reporter is already calling “not alright, not alright, not alright.” Specifically, Kimmel recalled to Harrelson how he fled the Emmys to go to the restroom after getting choked up at the in memoriam segment, which paid tribute to his longtime friend and bandleader, Cleto Escobedo III. In said restroom, McConaughey exposed himself to a teary Kimmel. And it gets worse. Here’s what Kimmel said—on air, might I add:
“I started getting choked up. I went to the bathroom, I’m washing my hands. I noticed next to me—I mean, right next to me—is Matthew McConaughey. He’s at the urinal. I say, ‘Hey.’ He sees that I’m upset, and he’s like, ‘Hey, are you okay?’ I told him what happened. He, again, is at the urinal. He turns to me and gives me a very nice hug. He hugs me real, you know, very warmly.”
“And I am hugging him for a little while, and I said, ‘Is your penis out?’ And he said, ‘Yes it is. Yes it is.’ And he says, ‘In fact, I’m going to rub it up against you a little bit,’” he recalled. Oh!
At this moment, as a free-wheeling McConaughey was allegedly pressed against Kimmel, Harrelson emerged from a stall to bear witness. In the interview, Kimmel asks Harrelson, “Did he explain our interaction, or were you just left with that [image] in your head?”
Harrelson replied, “I thought, ‘Okay, I never try to grade or critique what other people are doing.’ I figured, you guys, whatever your thing is, I don’t want to be the guy to say, ‘No, not in the restroom at the Emmys.’” Turns out the Emmys men’s bathroom is NOT a safe space to shed a tear about a dear friend.
While Kimmel didn’t seem nearly as disturbed as I (or anyone else with ears) was hearing the exchange, he added that the interaction “did lighten the moment considerably, and Cleto would have loved that very much.”
Still, if next year’s awards come with new urinal etiquette rules posted outside the restroom, we’ll know why.
