There have been very few sound bites from our current administration that have made my stomach turn like JD Vance telling the crowd at a March for Life rally that he wants beautiful young Americans to procreate.
“I want more babies in the United States of America,” Vance told the crowd in Washington, D.C., in January 2025, in his first official speech as Vice President. “And I want beautiful young men and women who are eager to welcome them into the world and eager to raise them.” I can’t believe any woman ever let him touch her—let alone wanted to get married and have kids with him.
But someone did. And Vance has officially gotten his wish for more babies in the U.S. On Tuesday, his wife, Usha—whom he recently threw under the bus for being raised Hindu—announced she’s expecting her fourth child with Vance. So I guess JD took a brief pause (or not) from allegedly fucking couches.
“We’re very excited to share the news that Usha is pregnant with our fourth child, a boy,” JD, 41, and Usha, 40, wrote in a shared statement on social media. The New York Times notes that it’s the first time in “modern history” that a sitting Second Lady has been pregnant.
“Usha and the baby are doing well, and we are all looking forward to welcoming him in late July,” the statement continued. Late July would make him a Leo, and Vance was born on August 2, which also makes him a Leo. That’s a lot of male Leo energy, just saying…
In December, Propaganda Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced she’s expecting a baby girl in May, and on New Year’s Eve, Katie Miller, wife of anti-immigration ghoul and White House Deputy Chief of Staff, Stephen Miller, announced they’re expecting their fourth child. I know this is a forced-birth administration and these women are probably all ecstatic to be a part of the most anti-women government in recent memory, but also…I’m curious if Vance has put something in the White House water.
Speaking of Katie Miller, on Wednesday, she quote-tweeted a Fox News clip of Jesse Watters and Kid Rock, from May, talking about how they believe no one wants to sleep with liberal women because they have blue hair and choose not to shave their armpits, writing: “Conservative women are just factually more attractive than liberal women. It’s why more conservatives than liberals are having babies.” Anyone even tangentially connected to this administration using the word “factually” is LOL.
But if armpit hair will keep me safe from men like Vance, Miller, Watters, and *gulps* Kid Rock, then, as God (she/her) as my witness, I will grow my armpit hair so long that it will need its own ZIP code. Guinness Book of World Records, watch out.
