Scattering the ashes of someone we love can feel like an overwhelming responsibility at a time when getting out of bed is hard enough
My partner died back in 2020 and I still haven’t collected his ashes from the funeral home. I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps it’s because he died during the pandemic lockdowns, which made the basic administrative tasks required after someone dies even harder. Or perhaps it’s because he didn’t leave any instructions about where he wanted to be scattered, and the idea of storing an urn without a plan is too overwhelming. Or, perhaps, grief just made it impossible to complete that final step.
When someone dies, the paperwork seems endless. And even after you think you’re done, letters arrive in the name of the dead person and you are forced to pick up the phone once again and deal with it, while later breaking at the sight of their name on a bill they will never pay. It is utterly exhausting to be undertaking all of this when you are chafed with grief, and also attempting to organise a funeral, a memorial, a burial or a cremation.
Nova Weetman is an award-winning author of books for children and young adults, including The Edge of Thirteen, winner of the Abia award 2022.
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