Le Journal

Gian Piero Gasperini is clearly a fan of the on-loan Aston Villa forward who shone in their 2-0 victory at TorinoWas it even a real quote, or only an approximation, a convenient lead-in to columns such as this? After Donyell Malen put the ball in the net for the second time in the first half-hour of his Roma debut, a member of his new team’s coaching staff was reportedly heard asking: “ma chi abbiamo preso?” – who on earth have we just signed?Nobody would clarify who said this, and frankly it did not matter. The phrase was now canon, repeated in commentary and churned across the oceans of online news aggregation. It resonated because Roma’s supporters were asking the same question of a player who arrived from Aston Villa two days before. Continue reading...

As punishing wellness challenges proliferate online, I’ve decided the only sensible response is to invent a kinder – and more lucrative – alternativeI have a masochistic interest in catchily named social media self-improvement challenges, so I already knew about “75 hard” – 75 days of drinking eight pints of water, doing two 45-minute workouts, eating clean and, endearingly, reading 10 pages of nonfiction – before it made its recent comeback. Paddy McGuinness has reignited interest, crediting the regime started in 2019 by podcaster Andy Frisella for his transformation from a normal soft-bodied human into an uncanny mass of bronzed abs and pecs.It’s inspired me to make my own changes, but not by doing 75 hard or its ilk. I’ve realised what I actually want to do is devise my own devilish self-improvement challenge. After all, I enjoy telling people what to do, and goodness knows, I could use another revenue stream. But what should mine involve? I debated an intellectual 75 hard, to transform your brain into as finely honed a machine as McGuinness’s body. Participants would pack the library like a gym in January, every table crowded with locked-in bros hyping each other up, as they struggle through Gravity’s Rainbow or Martin Heidegger’s Being and Time. “I can’t, it makes no sense! I’ve read this paragraph 12 times!” “That’s quitter’s talk. I know you’ve got another page in you, bruh – MAN UP!” Additional requirements would include sonnet composition, calculus, learning a new language and listening to In Our Time episodes on very occasional “cheat” days. Continue reading...